Colossians 2:20-23 NKJV

[20] Therefore, if you died with Christ from the basic principles of the world, why, as though living in the world, do you subject yourselves to regulations—[21] “Do not touch, do not taste, do not handle,” [22] which all concern things which perish with the using—according to the commandments and doctrines of men? [23] These things indeed have an appearance of wisdom in self-imposed religion, false humility, and neglect of the body, but are of no value against the indulgence of the flesh.

Growing up, I thought I had to check all the boxes to stay in God's good graces. It was exhausting. Eventually, I quit church completely because it didn't make sense to do all that work and still fail. I figured if I were going to hell, I might as well have a good time.

Fast forward forty-one years and a handful of addictions later, I finally understood who Jesus was. All of that effort to clean up on my own. All of the wasted time trying to straighten up. I didn't do it myself. I couldn't. I had to surrender EVERYTHING... my self, my sin, my pride, my addictions, my marriage, my family... I had to give it all up and trust God.

I still fail. I still wrestle with faults. I still repent regularly. I still try to be better today than I was yesterday, but I don't rely on me to do something Jesus had to do for me. That's how it has to be for it to work. I can't trust myself, but I can trust the Lord.