Proverbs 1:24-33 NKJV

[24] Because I have called and you refused, I have stretched out my hand and no one regarded, [25] Because you disdained all my counsel, And would have none of my rebuke, [26] I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your terror comes, [27] When your terror comes like a storm, And your destruction comes like a whirlwind, When distress and anguish come upon you. [28] “Then they will call on me, but I will not answer; They will seek me diligently, but they will not find me. [29] Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the Lord, [30] they would have none of my counsel and despised my every rebuke. [31] Therefore they shall eat the fruit of their way, and be filled to the full with their fancies. [32] For the turning away of the simple will slay them, And the complacency of fools will destroy them; [33] But whoever listens to me will dwell safely, And will be secure, without fear of evil.”

It seems a bit crazy to admit, but I was blessed with the experience of quite a few miserable years. I don't relish in the memories. I still shrink back from them in some ways. I saw the warning signs. I had people who cared about me praying for me and calling my errancy out. I still made the wrong decisions.

I couldn't believe I had ended up the way I did, but I wasn't surprised. That was the path I inadvertently chose. I certainly didn't want to be in the mess I was in, but I asked for every bit of it. I earned all of it... Then Jesus happened.

Even when I turned my back on God and gave up on myself, God never did. He allowed me (under my own free will) to dig myself into a hole only He could lift me from. I am a hard-headed child. He knew what it would take to get my attention. I am where I am now because He brought me from where I was. I don't fear the past because Jesus gave me a future.