Proverbs 25:15 NKJV

[15] By long forbearance a ruler is persuaded, and a gentle tongue breaks a bone.

Have you ever noticed that the natural reaction to a heated disagreement is impatience and an increase in volume? If I don't get my way, I become impatient. I dig my heels in and refuse to budge from my position. When that doesn't work, my next line of defense is to raise my voice and get loud. If I can't hold the line with stubbornness, I can defend it with volume.

We aren't supposed to base our sanctification on old patterns. Our model for the process is Jesus. If we are really chasing after Him, we should be willing to put down our old ways of doing things and pick up His way. Pride and selfishness is the driving force behind "my way". Humility, gentleness, and self-control are a few of the key markers of sanctification through Christ... the fruits of the Spirit.