Romans 4:9-12 NKJV

[9] Does this blessedness then come upon the circumcised only, or upon the uncircumcised also? For we say that faith was accounted to Abraham for righteousness. [10] How then was it accounted? While he was circumcised or uncircumcised? Not while circumcised, but while uncircumcised. [11] And he received the sign of circumcision, a seal of the righteousness of the faith which he had while still uncircumcised, that he might be the father of all those who believe, though they are uncircumcised, that righteousness might be imputed to them also, [12] and the father of circumcision to those who not only are of the circumcision, but who also walk in the steps of the faith which our father Abraham had while still uncircumcised.

I vividly remember the insurmountable discouragement I felt as a teenager, feeling like I couldn't get the "faith thing" right. I knew that repentance was the first step, but I thought "go and sin no more" was an achievable goal. I believed I could, with enough self-discipline, overcome my flesh. I tried. I failed. I tried again, and the perpetual cycle would repeat.

Abraham's faith was counted to him as righteousness before he began living under the law. Even before Jesus came down, Abraham's faith made him whole. If God honored Abraham according to his faith, how much more favor must we receive with Christ as our intercessor?

It's funny how the Lord offers little tidbits of encouragement to me through my past beliefs. I can't believe how wrong I was. I chose to hear what pastors told me without reading God's Word and hearing from the Holy Spirit on my own. I didn't measure the theology I was taught against what God actually said.

We aren't equipped or capable of "cleaning ourselves up." We have to believe, then give God room to do what He has to do. The best I have ever done on my own is get in God's way. I didn't understand freedom until I surrendered my own to Jesus.